My Friend Lilly

I think momma knows about Lillie; I hope not.  She never likes none of my friends.  I don't think Lillie is her name.  She tells me her name; I try to say it but the best I can do is Lillie.  Sometimes I think she is mad because I can't say her name.
     Momma said I need to have more friends.  I don't know why; I am happy with Lilly being my one and only friend.  Momma doesn't have many good friends.  They're all bad people.  The only person she ever talks to in the building is the old lady next door,  Miss Carol.  Miss Carol smells like cats and she has a runny eye.  There are some mens who come to our apartment, but they don't stay for very long.  Momma takes them to her room for a little while.  They always come at night and smell like beer.  They always come home with Momma, I think she has a place she finds them.  Sometimes they act strange when they see me sitting in the kitchen watching them.  I think it's because they know.  They know I know why they are here.  It is always the same thing; they are here to make Momma cry and call her bad names like bitch and then they leave.  I get mad and want to hurt them,  but Lillie tells me it's all right, just wait and my time will come.  None of them ever come back.  One of them tried to touch me one time.  I ran into the bathroom and locked the door; he tried to get in.  Momma saw him and yelled bad words and he left.  Lillie told me she took care of him, she made him trip and fall down the stairs and he broke his head.  I remember the police came and banged on the door and asked Momma about the man with the broken head, but she said she didn't know him.  Momma says she doesn't want to lie, but she has to cause I don't listen to her and cause bad trouble.  That what she says.
      Lillie is my friend.  I love her.  She says I am special to her, and I help her better than anyone else.  She makes me laugh and we do funny things.  She helps me understand things, like where she comes from.  Lillie comes from the corners.  She says long words to tell me where she is when she is not here.  From the corners.  Her di-di-dimenshun is where the corners meet.  Unless I need her, she is always there.  She showed me how to do things when Momma goes away.  Sometimes Momma leaves for a few days, sometimes she leaves in her head and is gone for a long time.  I tried to light the stove one time cause I was hungry, and I burned my hand.  Lillie showed me how to light the stove by saying a word.  Sometimes I say the word to make other fires.  It's funny when I make Momma's butt on fire.  Lillie showed me how to make foods when I'm hungry.  I get tired of eating cereal and Dot doesn't like to share his food.  Dot doesn't like a lot of things.  He doesn't like Lillie, he hisses and scratches at her.  Mostly he hides when she is here.
      Momma doesn't know about Lillie I hope.  I don't want to tell her, she will try to make her go away.  Lillie is my friend.  Lillie says Momma can't make her go away, but I don't know.  Momma is mean and does a bunch of things I don't like.  But I like it when her head hurts and she goes away for long times.  Me and Lillie do funny things to her.  One time we made Dot, hiss, and scratch at her when she was asleep for a long time and Lillie made her dance like a puppet and one time she made Dot jump on her head.  If I had a camera, I could make funny pictures.
      Lillie thinks Momma know about her, I hope not.  If Momma knows she will try to make her go away and that will be bad.  I love Lillie; I want her to stay.  Lillie says she can make Momma go away if I want her to.   I don't know.  One time she made Dot stop walking, and he just laid on the floor for some days.  I poked him with a straw and then a knife and he never moved until Lillie snapped her fingers and he jumped up fast and hissed and ran away behind the couch.  It was funny.  One day Lillie made his tail fire and he ran around the apartment screeching.  That was funny too.
     Lillie showed me how to make the fire with stuff under the sink.  She said not to tell Momma I know how to do that until its time.  I hope its time soon; it was fun.  Lillie tells me lots of things and says not to tell Momma, she scares me sometimes.  When I look at her the right way, I can see what she is behind her people skin and it is scary.  I think she is a witch behind her people skin.  
     Last night Momma said I need more friends because I am inside so much.  She said that was fine when I was a girl, but now I am a woman and need to do womans things, with mens friends.  I told Lillie what Momma said I need more friends and Lillie got real mad.  She said I shouldn't listen to anyone but her and then some dishes broke and the water in the sink burned.  It scared me she can do things that aren't right.  She makes the air melt sometimes...and that one makes me cry.   I think I might tell Momma she should leave before Lillie hurts her.  Momma will just say I'm stupid and I need some friends.
      That's why I brought you here.  Is your head okay?  You will like Lillie.  Lillie never says I am stupid and she says I am special to her.  She told me where to find you and how to get you without the policemen seeing me.  Lillie teaches me good things too.
      Shh, Momma is waking up now and I don't want her to hear us.  Don't tell Lillie I told you all of this she might make things happen.  Bad things.  When you look at her, don't look with your side eyes, you'll see under her people skin.  Lillie said if Momma wants me to have friends, then I can have you.  We will be friends together and do special things like I do for Lillie.  She said we have to make one more thing to do and then just us three will be friends have special funs.  When Momma goes away in her head again we have to take care of Momma so it can be just us.  Lillie is gonna make her hair and face do fire.  That will be funny.

Glenn Crace
February 2018